Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
