Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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