that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
