The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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