Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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