He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
