ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
you never un-have a 4some
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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