Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
