I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
