I think scott just propositioned me for sex
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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