I'm jealous of your bromance
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
