She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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