we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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