brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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