Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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