This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
