Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
