Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
