real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
