it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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