I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
