There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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