She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
