she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize