I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
