I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
