Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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