I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
