Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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