Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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