I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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