Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
