Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
