My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
