Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
