With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
