Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
