i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
