I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
