Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
