That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
try to milk me bitch
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize