this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
