they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
