Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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