ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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