Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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