I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
