And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
