so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
