you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
