is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
