I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just pee around me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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