so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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