i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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