how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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