apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
