The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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