i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize