I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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