Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Are my feet made of real feet?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
