I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
