apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she smelled like a LAN party
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
